Ordinary Life, Extraordinary Living

I Deserve to Be Here

I've shifted my mindset from one of scarcity to one of abundance.

No, I didn't blindly repeat a mantra about how the Universe is loving and abundant.  Nor did I go to the bank and get a $100 bill to carry around in my wallet. And I didn't watch a video of an Internet sensation talk about how I, too, can make a 7-figure salary, if I enrolled in her 10-week course.

Instead, I stopped in my tracks, as I was about to pass a high end store in Santa Fe's famed Plaza, and listened to a small voice that said, "You can go in there."

My husband and I were in Santa Fe on a spur of the moment vacation, our first in nearly three years.  I was window shopping, while he was visiting a history museum.  I had been admiring the shop's windows--beautiful designer clothes, richly textured and expertly tailored, and jewelry that looked like nature's best effort at dazzling the human eye. This was a place where one could easily drop a few thousand dollars without breaking a sweat.  As I walked past the doorway, I could see racks of pristine clothes inside, artfully displayed. Photo by all things paper.

When I got to the last window, I knew it was a moment of choice.  Do I go in and risk being embarrassed, in my jeans and sneakers? I was clearly out of my element.  Or do I keep walking down the sidewalk, safe...and small. 

The voice inside my head was encouraging. "You can go in there.  You're a fifty something woman."  And then, in the faintest of whispers, "You deserve to be there."

I turned around and walked inside the store. 

As I entered, my eye caught the unusual designs of finely double woven scarves.  A young woman approached and asked if she could help me.

I replied honestly, "I just came in to be inspired, creatively. The mix of colors is so beautiful." 

To which she said, "Oh, no problem. Other people have come in for inspiration as well.  We just got these scarves in from Japan. If you have any questions, let me know. Each piece has a story behind it."

Did I hear her right?  Did she say story?  My rational mind dismissed her words and smiled back.  It was as if the Universe was beckoning me through a doorway, and I was still reluctant to go through. 

I began looking at a rack of handmade coats sporting quilted, colorful prints.  When the saleswoman pointed out her favorite among many, I delighted in the fact that the same piece was my favorite as well.  I asked her how they were made.  From there, it was a series of stories about designers and fashion history, prompted by a specific garment on the rack--from Issey Miyake's one-size-fits-all wearable art to vests made out of vintage Hermes scarves to one designer's brilliant use of deep color with simple shapes. It was as if I had stepped into the Costume collection of prestigious big city museum and had my own personal guide.

As we looked at the jewelry cases, laden with necklaces and earrings crafted out of semi-precious stones,  I came upon a realization, which I shared with my new companion.  Photo images1.1stdibs.com

"Look at the unusual color of these stones. I don't have to own this to enjoy it. Just like nature."

Abundance is savoring, not necessarily owning. 

To my surprise, I did walk out with a purchase. I bought a pair of shoes that I thoroughly love.  I'm still in a bit of a daze that the shoes cost more than three times the price of a single night at the bed and breakfast we stayed at. 

But here's what I know.  From the moment I put on those shoes, I felt like I was walking in sneakers.  Comfort is all important to me.  These shoes fit my foot.

And they fit me. Entirely. A bit quirky and absolutely original. Like me. They make me feel special.

The cynics would say that the salesperson was very savvy to make friends with me.  I'd say that she was a kindred spirit who made me feel like I belonged.

In fact, I thanked her for making me feel so welcome.  To which she replied, "Oh, I hate snooty sales people.  As a teenager, I was fascinated by fashion and I remember going into an Yves St. Laurent shop."  She didn't elaborate what her experience was, but I could tell that she understood my hesitation in initially entering this store. I was so grateful that we connected. I wish I had taken a picture of her. Her name was Kate.

I left the store, feeling like life was indeed abundant, not so much because of my treasure held in a nondescript charcoal shopping bag. Instead, the shoes are a physical reminder of the impact of that one hour on my spirit, heart, and mind.

I had been treated to a visual feast that sparked my creativity and spirit.

Abundance is joyously connecting to the world around you. 

My mind was fed by an amiable guide with a deep sense of history and craftsmanship.  

Abundance is fulfilling one's curiosity.

My heart was filled with a self-respect that can never be taken away. I belonged in a place I didn't think I belonged.  I deserved to be there.

Abundance is knowing you are enough.

Thanks, Kate, for helping me see and feel that.

On Being a Writer

I have been writing for the last eight years, ever since I left my last corporate job and went off on my own.

I found out quickly that to be a good writer, I needed to do three things:

• Read good writing.  This was not hard to do.  I love to read.
• Write a lot, on a regular basis.  Initially this was not hard to do.  Over the last few years, it has gotten much more difficult as I crammed more into my life, including a new startup.
• Feel and reflect. This comes only when I have grounded myself, slowed down the pace of life to one where I can hear my inner voice. At times, this has seemed nearly impossible to do.

When I write, I am connecting back to that inner voice, giving it full expression, rather than a slight inkling that it can only muster in the noise of daily life.  If I am writing well, I am connecting to the reader.  This is a side benefit. It is never a direct outcome that I'm going after.  All writers write for themselves first. 

I have been reading a lot of my favorite authors--those known for the discipline of writing.  Julia Cameron, Natalie Goldberg. Anne Lamott. What I notice is that even they have some books that I don't care for.  Some of it is pedantic.  Some of it is too introspective and mimicking parts of their life without admitting it.  Some of it is self-absorbed.  Even fine writers have not so fine moments.

But mostly, I admire their simple and honest words.  Phrases that make me want to read them more than once.  Sentences that are worth tweeting. 

Lately, I have gotten back into space of hearing my Muse--the one that literally dictates in the middle of the night or when I'm waking in the  morning, or at the end of the day. I can hear my Muse put together entire paragraphs on topics that have recently coalesced in my mind.  She laughs at the funny parts and oohs and ahhs at the insightful parts.  She smiles at the turn of a phrase.

In those moments, I know that my job is to be the butterfly catcher.  To catch the words swirling above the crown of my head and put them into my computer, to be archived and reviewed at another time. Oh, to be a butterfly catcher, in the middle of winter, because inside, it is summer all over again.

Creativity from a Puzzle Master

I ran across an interesting article on creativity, profiling Scott Kim, who makes a living as a "puzzle master" and contributes a puzzle column to Psychology Today. Photo by Scott Kim.

I noted a few things from the article that I think relate to his ability to be creative:

• Kim is a boundary crosser, with a B.A. in music and a PhD in Computers and Graphic Design from Stanford.

• When working, he changes locations throughout the day, to look at the same problem in new surroundings.  In coaching, we call this working with geography.  I've seen how having a client move to another part of the room or stand instead of sit changes how they see an issue. 

• He takes frequent walks, to increase the oxygen that gets to his brain.  More oxygen, increased alertness, better results.  That should be a no-brainer.  (Pun intended.)

 

The article even has a tip on collaboration, which I can validate with my own coaching training. Instead of sitting across from someone you are working with, sit or walk side-by-side.  The latter configuration provides a context of "looking at a problem together", with the problem out front instead of between us. 

Summer of Opportunity

I was coaching a client when I blurted out, "This is your summer of opportunity." My client had been talking about activities winding down for the summer break and having more time to pursue other interests, beyond the usual obligations of life. She also reported a discussion with her new manager, who was curious about her previous work and sincerely interested in knowing what work she'd like to focus on going forward.

It felt like a clean slate for her, just as the summer is starting.

I have this image of summer that probably goes back to commercials from the 1960's when I was growing up--traveling across the country on an open road, families piling into the car to go to the beach, and a slower pace of life, where we are not a slave to time, but rather time is our ally.  Honey, you can settle in and read that 400-page mystery novel. I'll call you when dinner is ready. Photo by oddsock.

All of this got me wondering why we couldn't each create our own "summer of opportunity", where the encroachments that are normally part of our life are swept out and kept at bay, just for a few months out of the year.  The assumptions of what we can and cannot do go out the window from June to August. Who we are during the other nine months of the year doesn't hold true. We are free to reflect, dream, muse, create, in an adult version of the sandbox, with new dump trucks and shovels, just waiting for us to pick them up.

I'm typing this on my laptop on the backyard patio, underneath the shade of an umbrella and caressed by the gentle winds of a mid-morning. I had breakfast in the same place. Our big purple ash tree next to the patio finally leafed out, creating a canopy of green. It feels like the summer of opportunity has started for me. 

So how do you create your own summer of opportunity? Here are a few ideas:

• Make space by letting go of one or two things in your life, just for the summer. Let go of the Saturday morning routine of cleaning the house or staying late to clear off the desk before the next day. Let go of your belief that the kids need you to make lunch or that dinner should be a hot meal. Let go of the need to be organized or accurate or competent or timely.
  

• Change your scenery. Bring in a new plant or picture for your desk, or a memento from a favorite vacation. Rearrange your office or better yet, work in a different space for a few hours--a new coffee shop, a small alcove in your office building, an outdoor plaza, a neighborhood library. Photo by illustir

• Dream about what you really want to spend time on, just for the summer, and tell two close friends. Be open to how they respond, especially if they encourage you to pursue that dream.

• Think of each month, June, July, August, as a chance to make one big (or small thing) happen, something that you don't feel you can do during the rest of the year. Learn to cook. Take swimming lessons. Start writing that family history. Catch up on classic movies from a new genre.  Plan a picnic dinner with the family.

• Feed your mind. Read books, listen to podcasts, attend an arts event, anything that will stir the creative juices and inject a few new ideas. Explore another world to see another way of doing things, a different set of principles, or a unique challenge.

• Create a pilot project of your own choosing. Volunteer your time for a non-profit, using skills you've always wanted to develop further. Develop a prototype of a product that you've thought could be a winner in the marketplace, but it felt daunting to get the idea approved. Have lunch with a former client or colleague to brainstorm on a cool project that you can collaborate on. Photo by Big Mind Zen Center

Thank goodness summer comes once a year, every year.  How do you create your own summer of opportunity?

3 Reasons To Learn Improv

A few months ago, I blogged about my experience with learning the art of improvisation. 

If you are in the Boulder/Denver area, the same two improv workshops that I attended will be held in June. See below for more info.

If you are curious but need three reasons to attend, here they are:

• Improv is lots of fun.  When else can you imagine being a stubbed toe and act it out?  Or a newborn baby in the arms of a nurturing mother?  Or a too-eager woman on a first date?  All those smart aleck remarks from your daily life get put to good use. Photo by Pink Sherbert Photography

• Improv is therapeutic. I get to express a wide range of emotions with an intensity that one rarely exhibits in daily life.  Anger gets expressed with the whole body, not just a few words. Sadness has an energy that dulls the heart.  Regret shows up in visible angst. By the time I go home, I've had an emotional cleansing, all in the name of play and exploration.

• Improv gets you out of your head and into your body.  When I'm doing improv, I'm more aware of my body and how it can be a tool for expression.  Facial expressions and arm movements and how I stand or walk all play a part in communicating with the audience. Photo by Ernst Moeksis

So, what are you waiting for?  Here are descriptions for two Playback Theatre classes, which is a specific form of improvisation:

PLAYBACK 1:INTRODUCTION TO PLAYBACK IMPROVISATIONAL THEATER (SHORT FORMS)

Improvisational acting requires us to be in our bodies, let go of the critical mind, and say yes to the unknown.  It is important training for all performers, and helpful to anyone opening themselves to the creative process.  In this course, participants use the short forms of Playback's improvisational theatrical structures to access their performance strengths and learn to play back on-the-spot stories told by an audience.  Playback is unique in that it draws equally from the performer's ability to playfully engage both their creativity and their empathy to tell a story not only of humor, but of depth and passion.

June 4th-5th

Friday 6:30-9 p.m.; Saturday 10 a.m.- 4:30 p.m.

Cost: $129 (20% off Playback 2 when you sign up for Playback 1)

PLAYBACK 2: PLAYBACK STORIES: IMPROVISATIONAL THEATER (LONG-FORMS)

The heart of Playback Theater is the long-form improv of storytelling.  In this class we will focus on how to structure an improvisational story and
find its essence.  The focus will be learning how to act out stories but we will also play with ways of accompanying stories musically as well as discuss conducting technique. 

June 11th-12th

Friday 6:30-9 p.m.; Saturday 10 a.m.- 4:30 p.m

Cost: $129

To sign up, call 303-440-3682.

I don't receive anything for promoting these classes, other than the satisfaction of knowing someone else will discover the joy of improv.

Finding Inspiration in New Places

Inspiration is most appreciated when you least expect it.

Waking up this morning, after three days of travel for work, my mind was foggy and my body a bit sore. (Sitting on airplanes and lifting suitcases into overhead bins will do that.) But in going through my inbox, I found two things that immediately got me going, like the spiciness of a cup of bhakti chai.

A boundary crosser who I had blogged about a few years ago, Brian Schmidt, emailed me about a convention he started last year for his industry, GameSoundCon.  Brian composes music for video games. He's got undergraduate degrees in Music Composition and Computer Engineering, and a graduate degree in Computer Applications in Music. As the website states, "GameSoundCon is for composers, sound designers, audio engineers and others who want to learn what it takes to work in the video game music and sound industry."

Sounds pretty run of the mill....until you see the video of who showed up and what they talked about. See for yourself.

These are people who love what they do, are creative and practical at the same time, and take their work seriously. We need more people in the workplace like this. If you aren't bringing that kind of passion and sensibility to your work, maybe you should reconsider your profession.

My second jolt of inspiration this morning came via an email from Patricia Ryan Madson, author of the book, Improv Wisdom.  Patricia recently rejuvenated her blogging efforts with a year-long series of postings on everyday objects in her life.  Again, this doesn't sound like much. Until you see that Patricia is a woman who sees the world with a special lens, with the eye of a painter, the heart of an improvisor, and the mind of a writer. It's a powerful combination. Photo by Patricia Ryan Madson.

Where are you finding inspiration these days?

Falling In Love....With Improv

Ever since I took two theatre improv workshops a few weeks ago, I've had this fascination and excitement inside. It's a bit like falling in love. 

Things seem new again. My creative juices look for the "Yes, and..." (instead of "Yes, but") in daily life.  I seek out opportunities to bring more improv into whatever situation arises. Photo by House of Sims.

Like last weekend, when I was hanging out at lunch with my teenage son and the rest of his teammates, during a break from a mock trial competition (think junior attorneys arguing the same case against each other over and over, with new juries and judges each time). They were outside on a sunny March day, in a huddle with their coach. She was giving them a pep talk, about making the best of the afternoon round of arguments, after a day of grueling competition. When I heard the word, "energy", I immediately thought of a warm-up exercise for improv, called Zip-Zap-Zop. The idea is to move the energy within a group, quickly, by speaking one of the words and slapping the hands so that it points to someone else in the group. The trick is to do this quickly, while saying the right word in the Zip-Zap-Zop sequence. The exercise gets the body and mind moving simultaneously.  

I suggested Zip-Zap-Zop and within seconds, there was laughter, engagement, and lots of smiling faces. Photo by russelljsmith

I'm asking people who I meet for the first time or friends I haven't seen in awhile if they do improv.  I re-read the book, Improv Wisdom.  And I'm connecting with more improvisers. I particularly like this blog post, from someone who followed me recently on Twitter, about why improv works so well, both on-stage and off-stage. The blogger wrote to me, "Improv changed my life."

I believe her.

Here are great quotes from Patricia Ryan Madson in her book, Improv Wisdom. They remind me not only of Patricia's wisdom, but also how rich life can be when we give attention to being an improviser:

• The practice of improvisation teaches something that we are hungry to understand: how to be in harmony with one another and how to have fun.
  
• All starting points are equally valid. Once a job is under way, you have a new and more realistic perspective. You are inside the problem while looking at it, rather than standing safely at the perimeter.
  
• The improviser focuses on making that idea into a good one, rather than searching for a "good idea."  
• Dealing well with people we like is easy; the mark of a fine improviser is his ability to work skillfully, kindly, and respectfully with those with whom he has difficulty.
  
• We are all borrowing heavily from the labors and efforts of others...Never let an hour go by without giving credit to someone.
• While the critical method sharpens the mind, it dulls the heart...Cultivate a generosity of speech.
  
• A constructive response to a mistake is to notice it, acknowledge it, and if possible, use it...99.9 percent of the time, a mistake is just an unanticipated outcome giving us information. 
• Consummate improvisers are marked by their generosity, courtesy, and ability to watch out for the needs of their teammates.
  
• Improvisers are quick to join a player who appears to be struggling on stage. Where possible, they do something to improve the situation.

And finally, this one is my favorite parts of the book:

In the improv world the working paradigm is one of shared control...[B]oth parties must stay alert and energized and actual leadership is likely to change moment to moment. Both are always responsible, while neither is "in control" in an absolute sense....[A]ll improvisers have the right and responsibility to move the scene forward, adjusting always to what the new reality is. Doing what needs to be done becomes the guiding principle... When this principle is working optimally, ....all are surrendering to the story that is carrying them forward.

Photo by ChrisL_AK

Life is much easier, when I'm not resisting what is, and when I'm allowing "the story to carry me forward." And yet, this doesn't absolve me of the responsibility to "do what needs to be done."

What is the story that is carrying you forward?  And how do you contribute to moving the scene forward? 

Creativity That Comes Through You

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the best-selling book, "Eat, Pray, Love," gave a talk at the TED conference this year about adopting a new mindset on creativity, one that doesn't give full credit or blame to an individual, but to a greater force. Call it the Divine, God, Muse, whatever. The point is that creativity is borne from a partnership with something greater than oneself. Photo by creativedc

Here's the link to the TED video.

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html

The first half of this 20-minute talk can come across as self-absorbed. The second half is where Gilbert makes a compelling case for looking at creativity in a new light. She's spot on and in sharing her truth on creativity, it moved me to tears.

Why tears? Because I know that feeling when something is moving through me, that is utterly pure and wonderful. I have no idea where it has come from. I can't trace it to anything I've said or done before. It's just there. A phrase. An idea. A seed of a blog post. A knowing about the truth of someone's situation, without consciously putting all the pieces together. When I blurt out what's moving through me or quickly type on my laptop before I lose that feeling, I'm not so much the author or the speaker as I am the scribe. Yes, the scribe.

A favorite quote from Martha Graham says it all:

"There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost."

This is not a new idea, that the genius guy or gal is the vessel or channel for something magical which humans can't fully comprehend. We may not be able to understand creativity, but we love it when we see it. Photo by alicepopkorn

Both Gilbert and Graham make another point that is often lost on individuals struggling through a creative endeavor. Your only job is to show up. That's it. If you are writer, make time to write. Even if you think what is coming out is no good, or that you don't have enough time, or you aren't in a good enough mood. Just write. 

Photo by ms.Tea

Same goes for painters, dancers, computer engineers (yes, engineers can be creative as well!) Just show up. That's it. 

My thanks to Deb Siverson, a friend, collaborator, and colleague, who emailed me the link to Gilbert's talk, with the subject line: "I watched this today and thought of you."  Deb also is no stranger to working with the Divine. 

How does creativity come through you?

Photo by Bohman

Sir Ken Robinson on Talent and Passion

Ready for a humorous, entertaining and educational conversation about talent and passion?  The following video is a presentation by Sir Ken Robinson, an expert on creativity. It's over an hour long and well-worth every minute:

Notice his wonderful use of story and then articulation of the main points that lead us to new ideas on old ways of doing things (e.g., education). I also love the discussion about revolution--everything you thought was true is no longer true.  A wry commentary on Western society.

Tom Peters: Innovation is Easy!

Found this fun video of Tom Peters, from a tweet by @ellennaylor who found it from a blogger, @plish. (Love how that works.)

Key messages:

• Being remarkable is about being original--originally you. Don't follow the pack. Take the lead.
• Hang out in the fringes if you want fodder for innovation. My take on this: Be a boundary crosser. 

What helps you innovate and what traps have you fallen into along the way?